##Her DIARIES

5:05 AM MY CELL PHONE STARTED VIBRATING FOLLOWED BY A LOW ALARM TUNE NOT TO DISTURB MY SLEEPING FAMILY.SWITCHING OFF THE ALARM I OPENED MY EYES .LAST NIGHT HEADACHE WAS STILL THERE. I CHECKED ON MY WHATSAPP HOPING TO FIND MESSAGE FROM MY LONG DISTANCE COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP.INSTEAD I FOUND MY OLD SCHOOL FRIEND DECLARING HER ENGAGEMENT WITH CHEESY STATUS AND FAT INDIAN ENGAGEMENT PICTURE DANCING BETWEEN ARTIFICIAL CLOUDS WITH HER SO CALLED SOUL MATE WHOM SHE INTERVIEWED FOR JUST 2 MINUTES BEFORE GIVING HER CONSENT .DISAPPOINTED I LEFT MY BED TO GET READY FOR MY ACCOUNTS TUITION CLASSES. THUS STARTS ANOTHER DAY FOR ME.

STANDING IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR MY MOM’S WORDS FROM THE LAST NIGHT FIGHT RAN INTO MY HALF AWAKE BRAIN “YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU ARE AGEING.YOU LOOSING CHARM.YOU ARE ALMOST 24.(I AM ONLY 23+ I WANT TO SPECIFY.)WHAT WILL RELATIVES SAY?WE NEED TO STAY IN SOCIETY.(AS IF I AM PREGNANT AND PLANNING SINGLE MOTHERHOOD. WHICH ACCORDING TO ME IS NOTHING WRONG. )YOU ARE RUNNING BEHIND STUPID DREAMS.U CANNOT BE A TOP CA OF A COMPANY.(CFO-CHIEF FINANCE OFFICER SHE MEANT).LOOK AT YOUR MASI(AUNTS) AND SISTERS,LOOK AT ME WE ALL ARE HAPPY HOUSE  WIFE  (THOUGH I PREFER USING HOME MAKERS).GET MARRIED TO SOME BUSINESS MAN. BUSINESS MEN GET MARRIED AT AN EARLY AGE.NO BUSINESS FAMILY WANT OLD DAUGHTER-IN-LAWS.ALL GUYS WILL FINISH.(I THOUGHT OF INDIAN SEX RATIO.) WE HAVE DREAMS FOR YOU(WE DO NOT CARE WHAT ARE YOUR DREAMS)DO CA AND STUFF AFTER MARRIAGE.MARRY,HAVE BABIES AND LIVE A KING SIZED LIFE.”

(UNIQUE THING ABOUT BENGALI FAMILIES IS WOMEN DO ALL THE TALKINGS WHILE MEN PREFER TO BE QUIET.(BENGALI MEN ONLY DEBATE ABOUT POLITICS AND  COMMENT ON FOOTBALL.)IN SHORT BENAGLI WOMEN DOMINATES BENGALI MEN  WHICH ONE WILL SELDOM FIND IN REST OF INDIA.HAVING MOSTLY NON BENGALI FRIENDS PLUS A NON BENGALI COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP I CAN UNDERSTAND IT VERY WELL.BUT ACCORDING TO BENGALI FAMILY STANDARDS MY FAMILY IS NORMAL). “OOO-AAAHHH……SHAAME MALANG SI….” MY CELLPHONE SANG THE SECOND ALARM. OMG!!! 5:15 I AM LATE.!!I STOP DAY DREAMING MADAMJI!!! MY COMPLICATED BOYFRIEND’S FREQUENT WORDS ECHOED INTO MY EARS.I SPLASHED WATER ON MY FACE. SOMEHOW BRUSHING MY TEETH I HURRIED TO DRESS UP. MAKE UP SEEMS EXTRA LUXURY FOR ME NOW A DAYS.I BRAIDED MY  THIN HAIR. “IS MY MOM RIGHT?AM I AGEING?AM I RUNNING BEHIND USELESS DREAMS??IS ALL MY HARDSHIPS WORTH IT?“DOUBTS FILLED MY MIND. I MOVED SLOWLY TO MY STUDY TABLE TO COLLECT MY BOOKS.WHILE PICKING THE RELEVENT BOOKS FROM THE MESSY TABLE MY EYES RAN  INTO THE POSTER OF CHANDA KOCHHAR   FOLLOWED BY A SIMPLE ANONYMOUS QUOTE “BEHIND EVERY PATH BREAKING SUCCESS THERE IS A SIMPLE YET POWERFUL QUESTION:WHY NOT ME?” SOMETHING INSIDE ME CLEARED ALL DOUBTS. A SWEET SMILE(ACCORDING TO MY COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP HALF I HAVE PREETI ZINTA KILLER SMILE) ADORNED MY FACE FOR DEEP DOWN ME I KNEW I NEED TO CHANGE A LOT OF THINGS.THE CHANGE WILL BE A LONG DRAWN PROCESS BUT ALL I NEED IS TO BE PATIENT AND BELIEVE IN MY DREAMS AND I WILL MANAGE ALL THE HURDLES ON MY WAY. I LOOKED AT THE WALLPAPER ON MY CELLPHONE (SENSEX BULL PICTURE WHICH IS USUALLY ODD WALLPAPER TO KEEP ACCORDING TO MY COUSIN SISTERS ) AS A SMS FROM MY FRIEND WAITING AT THE BUS STOP FLASHED ON THE SCREEN. I LEFT MY HOME TO ENJOY THE BEAUTIFUL WINTER MORNING KOLKATA ON MY WAY TO CLASS.